I'm going to deviate slightly on this one and recount a story aboard the number 243 - a similar route but crucially a double decker (no, not the chocolate bar that never quite took off).
I was sitting upstairs in the driving seat (you know, the one up front in the right hand corner that lifts your heart when it's empty), when the crackle of the microphone disturbed my reading of The History of Love (by Nicole -writes suspiciously like Jonathan Safran Foer slash husband coincidence? - Krauss).
"We're not stopping at the next stop - the next bus stop is not in use", informed the driver.
"That was helpful of him" I thought, but sadly for him, the driver forgot to switch his microphone off. Ah, I suspect you see, where this one's going....
"Come and talk to me" says the driver, "What you do for the money?"
Pause.
"Oh, so you're a clever lady. I like clever ladies."
Pause. Sniggers from fellow top deckers.
"So why is a pretty little thing like yourself traveling alone? "
Outright laughing from girl sitting next to me.
"I don't believe it. Today must be my lucky day! So tell me where you'e going and I'll drop you anywhere you like sweetheart..."
And then I guess he must have realised about the mic since the last thing we heard him say was "Bugger" before a thud and the abrupt end to our performance.
I'd bet you a one-day travelcard that he got her number - what a smooth operator.
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